I’m a snob…

…because I like classical music.

…because I prefer words to be spelled correctly.

…because I abhor Improper Capitalization of Words.

…because I can’t stand “Real Housewives of…” shows.

…because I’m smart enough to know the difference between opinion and fact.

…because I’m smart enough to understand that education doesn’t always equal intelligence.

…because I’ve lost my tolerance for loud, crowded places.

…because I can’t be in a room with more than five people I don’t know who are talking about things I like.

…because I pine for the days when History Channel was documentaries I could learn from, not “reality docudramas” about aliens and Bigfoot.

…because I like documentary films with a real message (please excuse yourself from the room, Michael Moore).

…because I still like to learn new things.

…because I have to Google things like “swag” and “yolo.”

…because I enjoy NPR.

…because I get mad when people born after 1990 take pride in their ignorance.

…because I get irate when people don’t understand common courtesy.

…because I play by the rules, god damn it all, and I want everyone else to.

…because I adore good writing and wish I could be capable of the same.

…because I feel that a meal is best enjoyed with people you love, no matter the cost of what’s on the table.

…because modern music makes me nauseous.

…because popular television frustrates me.

…because the hypocrisy of organized religion makes me sick to my stomach, angry beyond words and deeply, profoundly sad.

…because the idea of working in a cubicle for any longer than I already have makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

Yeah, I’m okay with being a snob.